Heart of Dorkness

Monster Three - Library

I had never fallen in love before.

Probably.

I’m pretty sure I would remember that a little, because what I felt as I entered the library behind Luciana was love, and I couldn’t imagine not remembering a feeling that strong.

“Whoa,” I said.

Saying ‘there were lots of books’ was like saying the ocean was a bit wet. Shelves ran from the floor all the way up to the ceiling, with ladders mounted on rails perched here and there. There were multiple floors of the library, the upper floors mostly made up of balconies that followed the shelves around the room in rings that climbed all the way to the ceiling far, far above. I counted five. Five floors of books.

“Can I live here, please?”

Luciana placed her hand on my head and patted me up and down. “No. The library isn’t a place where anyone should be caught sleeping. For that matter, I don’t allow food here, for obvious reasons.”

“Okay,” I said. No problem. I didn’t need to eat, there were books.

“Come,” Luciana said.

“I’ve changed my mind,” I said as I followed her. “My goal in life’s not to make people nicer. It’s to read all of these books.”

“My, how fickle, to change your goals so quickly.”

“Extenuating circumstances,” I said. “I like reading. I... uh... oh no.”

She glanced back. “Is something the matter?” she asked.

I paused to gawk at a strange octopus-like creature sorting some books, then shook my head. “I just realized that I can’t remember any of the books I’ve read.”

“That is unfortunate.”

“I’m not sure, actually. Now I get to re-read them all over again!”

The goddess didn’t reply, merely turned and continued past some smaller standing shelves and to a spot at the back with a single comfortable seat. It was a big plush armchair, all leather and it looked really worn, as if someone had spent a lot of time sitting in it.

A few chandeliers hung behind it, with tiny monsters within, all of them glowing and casting soft light around the corner.

Luciana sat, then folded one leg over the other. She gestured to the floor before her. “Sit.”

I sat. It was a bit awkward, but I had to be on my best behaviour if I expected to be allowed to use the library.

The Dark God looked at me, then stared up and above. I noticed that Milpiés hadn’t followed us, but was instead crawling up one of the massive shelves to the side, his little claw-claws touching the books and scrolls and flicking away lint and dust.

“I think,” Luciana said. It snapped my attention back around. “For you to have a worthy goal, you need one of two things.”

“Okay,” I said.

“You must either want something so badly that all else pales in comparison. It must be the thing that drives you every morning, and that keeps you awake at night.” Her voice didn’t rise, but I still felt the weight of every word pressing down on me.

I swallowed. “What’s the other thing?” I asked.

“You must have a worthy opponent.”

“Oh,” I said. I shifted on the floor. There was a rug, but it was still less than comfy. “Which one drove you?”

She leaned back into her seat a little then raised her hand to the side just as a monster slid past. A serpent, but one as big around as I was wide at the shoulders. Its head stood perfectly still, and atop it was a crystalline goblet which Luciana plucked away. The purple liquid within smelled like grape juice. Wine?

“I thought we couldn’t eat in the library?”

“No, you cannot. It is my library.” She took a sip. “As for my drive... that was long ago. There was something I had to prove. It is done. I have proved it far beyond a shadow of a doubt.”

“What was it?”

She smiled, the first actual smile that I saw touch her lips. It never reached her eyes though. “That I am the most powerful.”

I nodded. She was pretty scary for a God of Darkness.

She tapped the fingers of her free hand against the arm of her comfy chair. “Now, I am curious about what you would want, and whether you could ever find a worthy opponent.”

“I don’t know? I have as many opponents as I have friends. Which is none.”

“Hmm. Do you know why I am spending time with you?”

“It’s not because I'm interesting company, is it?”

She shook her head, though I sensed that she was amused. That was good! If I made her happy, she might let me get a library card. Did she have library cards?

“Then a history lesson is in order.”

I sat up a bit straighter. “I’m all ears.”

She took another sip from her probably-wine and then licked her lips. “You understand what a god is, yes?”

“I think so?” I said. “Someone who’s... godlike?”

“Technically accurate, I suppose, but no points for creativity,” she said. “A god is someone who has reached a pinnacle of power and who has obtained divine abilities over their domain. There are many gods. Some share domains, rendering them weaker. Others, the major gods, rule over their domain exclusively. Some form pantheons of overlapping abilities and powers. It is an interesting field of study for many mortals.”

“And you’re the Goddess of Darkness. Are there others?”

“No. There is no god of shadows or goddess of the night. My domain is my own, and I do not allow others to encroach upon it. This has, historically, led to some issues.”

She sounded like someone that didn’t want to share her toys.

“Do you know what many people who have power want?” she asked.

“Wouldn’t that depend from person to person?”

She nodded a little, conceding the point. “Yes. But often what the powerful desire most is more power. I have much, and it is beyond the reach of many. So plots are hatched and great sacrifices are made to dethrone me. They fail.”

“Okay,” I said.

“The most successful of these involve taking souls from another world. Souls entirely untouched, and bringing them here. These are often given gifts and great powers, and are blessed to grow strong. Some have reached godhood, though they are few indeed. Most only reach the edges of my territory.”

I shifted. My butt was falling asleep.

“You, I suspect, are a mistake. A soul dragged along with another, dropped and abandoned. Had you more luck, you would have been born untainted to some mortal family and would have grown and lived and died a normal life, perhaps only with vague notions and memories clinging to you. But you didn’t have such luck. You died in this world, and in so doing, your soul belonged, if only fleetingly, to me.”

I settled on bringing my knees up. “Is it like that for everyone?”

“Mostly, yes,” she said. “When someone dies, they are reborn in one of my pools. Returning to life as a monster. Their power and abilities are always a reflection of the power they had as a living being. Their temperament and body are a reflection of the sins they committed. In dying unborn and as a being not of this world, you have been resurrected entirely without committing any sin in these lands. You are, I imagine, as close to your original form as anyone or anything has ever been.”

It took me a moment to process all of that. “Oh, okay, that sounds important?”

She didn’t reply right away. “Perhaps. You already show an intellect far surpassing that of the average monster. A Scourge might be as capable. A Calamity, certainly.”

I puffed my chest out. “Thanks!”

“But you are weak.”

I deflated. “I am?”

“Terribly weak, yes. The smallest monster could kill you. Perhaps you have potential, but it would take much to realize it.”

“Oh,” I said. “I can try though, right?”

“Perhaps. Perhaps I will even assist you. It would certainly... cause a reaction, for certain people to see you. I would very much enjoy that alone. And I am not so callous as to admit that some company would be amiss.”

I bounced to my feet. “That sounds great! Where do we start?”

Luciana gestured to the library. “We will begin by teaching you a little. History, of course, and... perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to train you in the magical arts.”

“There’s magic?” I asked.

Of course there was magic, who was I kidding? There were gods and monsters and oh gosh I couldn’t wait!

“Indeed. But first, I think our very first step will be finding you a suitable class.”

***