How To Ruin A Love Comedy

It’s been two days since I started cleaning the bathrooms.

After that day, Miyuki did not come to monitor me again.

I did earn a large amount of affection, but we were still far apart.

Even still, I cleaned the bathroom very thoroughly.

Even if Miyuki doesn’t watch directly, she may hear rumours that the bathrooms have been clean as of recent from others.

In the classroom, I continued to act immaturely.

But not during lessons.

I tried my hardest to follow the professor’s pace no matter what.

Even now, I was battling a wave of sleepiness to focus on the lesson.

“Ah, this problem is for… hm…”

The middle-aged teacher who was drawing circles and alphabet on the blackboard paused at the end of his speech.

I flinched when I made eye contact with him.

I felt as if he was going to ask me to solve the problem.

Looks like he was astonished by the fact that I was focused on the lesson…

“Matsuda-kun, will you solve this one?”

As I expected, the professor picked me to answer.

Instantly all the eyes were on me.

I could see Miyuki’s eyes brimming with curiosity.

I really want to solve it perfectly and receive applause, but …

I have no idea what the hell is drawn on the blackboard.

I was already bad at studying, but before possessing this bastard I do not remember it being this bad…

I need to be taught by Miyuki in the future, but the sight in front of me is grim.

I scratched my head and spoke in a sarcastic tone.

“I have absolutely no idea.”

“O-Oh…? Alright. Miyuki-chan, come up and solve question on the blackboard.”

Miyuki stood up from her seat with a look of resignation on her face.

Miyuki skillfully handled the chalk, showing off her elegant handwriting.

It looks cool somehow.

I snuck a glance at Tetsuya, who looked at Miyuki solving problems with sparkling eyes.

A bastard who didn’t even have the courage to accept a confession…

Someone like you don’t deserve to look at Miyuki like that.

It was break time after the lesson.

I was trying to rest with my arms on my desk, when I saw her approaching me nonchalantly which put an annoyed expression on my face.

“What now.”

“Matsuda-kun”

“What.”

“If you don’t know at least pretend to solve or ask the professor how to solve it. That’s how you improve.”

I turned my head towards Tetsuya, ignoring her advice.

“Miura. Your mother keeps nagging me even thought I did nothing wrong, shouldn’t you stop her?”

Tetsuya fidgeted at the playful attitude, and spoke in a timid voice while watching Miyuki’s gaze.

“Wh-What do you mean by mom… Miyuki is…”

“I’m just joking you bastard. To take it seriously like that…”

“Matsuda-kun”

Miyuki ended the conversation with a harsh tone.

I raised both my hands in an exaggerated fashion.

“I understand. I can’t even joke around cause you’re so scary.”

“That’s not a joke you’re bullying him.”

“Bullying him? Yo, Miura. Did I bully you?”

When I spoke to Tetsuya with an intimidating look on my face, Miyuki stepped in between us.

“Who’s going to tell the truth if you speak like that, in such a threatening way?”

“It’s just my natural way of speaking, what’s the big deal?”

“You can be nicer. At least try to put in an effort.”

“Our very kind Miura-kun, did I perhaps hurt your feelings? No? That’s good. Then after lessons are over can you clean the bathroom for me?”

“Matsuda-kun”

After the molestor incident, there’s something about Miyuki’s often changing attitude that I noticed.

If I did something she didn’t like, she would call my last name in a low voice.

Like a sister or a mother trying to discipline.

I took my attention off Tetsuya and leaned my back on the chair.

And then I deliberately spoke in a rude tone.

“What are you, my mother-in-law? Why are you involving yourself like this?”

“Matsuda-kun made me get involved.”

“You really don’t let any comments get by you… Just go. Take your dog to a store or something.”

“Dog?”

“Miura who’s right behind you.”

“Sigh… I’m going to stop here because if we converse anymore I feel like I will get angry. You’re going to clean the bathroom thoroughly today as well right?”

Yep, I am going to.

“I don’t know about the word thoroughly but I will do it.”

“Is your hand okay?”

“Somewhat.”

“Be careful to not get any water on it.”

After saying that, Miyuki left with Tetsuya.

It looked like they were going to a store as I assumed earlier.

This damn fucker… I also want to go to a store with Miyuki but he has a monopoly over her.

Every time I see that sight, it makes me clench my fists.

**

In every dating sim game, there are many events which raise the affection levels.

Among them, there are important ones like the train situation that I resolved,

or events where you get very little affection, or not at all but you get a fan service scene.

Right now, I was at the scene where the fan service scene takes place.

Usually, this event only serves as a fan service scene and nothing else, but it’ll be different now.

Why? Because I know all about Miyuki’s personality.

Miyuki is someone who is perfectly attached to her childhood friend and first love.

She’s really sincere, and has a warm heart.

She is also the type of woman who will never just ignore a pitiful event.

Why is it that I’m thinking about this right now?

That’s because near Miyuki’s current location, there is a wandering beggar.

The beggar was missing a leg and moved around on a square cart while begging.

He begs for money, often using aggressive and rude language towards passing pedestrians, grabbing them and threatening to hit them if they don’t carry them across the street at the traffic light. He was that kind of a crazy bastard.

He could be considered even famous in this area.

You’ve seen these kinds of NPCs if you played some games.

If you encounter while playing, this sort of NPC will give you a big breathing space as long as sell a bit of your conscience.

In Dokiaca, this beggar was exactly that kind of NPC.

If you give him a pair of smelly socks, he gives you some of the money he’s earned from begging.

‘When I was playing at Tetsuya, I made good use of this fella.”

Starting now I will make use of this beggar instead.

To put simply, acting like I am a nice person.

Miyuki will stumble upon me being kind to this beggar.

When I finished my planning, I started walking towards where the beggar was.

I saw the beggar making grumbling noises and being angry towards pedestrians.

What would happen if I give this guy the socks I’m wearing right now?

Would he give me some money like in the game?

As I was considering these things, I eventually just shook my head.

Matsuda Ken was not lacking in money.

There’s only one thing I need from this beggar.

Miyuki’s affection points towards me and that’s it.

“Look here! Look here!”

The beggar was screaming at the pedestrians who continued to ignore him.

I pretended to walk past him, passing by right under his nose.

And then,

“Hey! You!”

As I expected, the beggar called me with a loud voice.

I turned my head halfway and looked down upon him when I responded.

“Why.”

As if he was confused by my informal way of speaking to him, the beggar’s face contorted with surprise.

(TL NOTE: In Korean there are a couple “forms” of speaking, formal for people older than you, or someone you respect, and informal for your friends and family. I’m sure that’s not like a perfect description, but it’s just quickly giving context.)

He stared blankly at me for a moment then scowled with his dirt covered lips.

“What kind of person lacks even this basic level of respect..! How many years have you been alive! Huh!?”

“Twenty.”

“You’re still wet behind the ears…! I have lived more than three and a half times as long as you! A bastard who never received proper education back home…! What will become of the world…!”

This kind of wild rage is exactly the beggar I know and remember.

“For the sin of not respecting your elders you will pay! You must carry me and walk across the intersection immediately!”

“Yeah? I can do something of that level.”

When I accepted his command without complaints, the beggar’s eyes went wide.

“Huh…? Is that so?”

“Yeah. Shall I pick you up?”

“Uh, yeah… okay… hurry up. Bring my vehicle too.”

After telling him I understand I stood crouched in front the beggar who had both his arms open.

After I picked him up, I grabbed his old, rickety bogie with one hand.

The smell coming off him was no joke. With the smell of this guy, cleaning the bathroom… at this rate my nose is going to go numb.

“Hmmmm… I misunderstood you. Your way of speaking is rough, but your soul is kind. Your back is wide so it’s comfortable to sleep in. I’m going to sleep for a moment, so wake me up when you cross the intersection.”

The beggar pointed to a faraway place.

I clicked my tongue and pretended to head there, but as soon as I heard his regulated breathing over my shoulder, I stopped and turned around.

I began to walk towards where Miyuki was.

A desolate street a little ways away from the bustling city center.

I went to a small mobile phone accessory store near a desolate street with very few people around, and saw Miyuki through the glass of the store.

She was looking at key rings with her friends.

As Miyuki, who was crouched and looking at the items, went below her dress, and her white underwear was revealed between her attractive thighs.

Thanks to the tightly pulled underwear, you could see her thick curves.

It felt like if I poked, it would deep inside and then be flung out due to the elasticity.

Seeing this in reality makes the blood rush to my lower half.

Tetsuya that son of a bitch sould be around here somewhere… Poor guy.

Unlike the original event, you will not be able to see this scene of Miyuki.

Why is that? Because there will be a big commotion soon.

“Gramps. We’ve arrived.”

After I let go of the boggie and shook the beggar wake, the beggar took a look around his surroundings and then smacked my head so hard there was a loud WHACK!

“Ah fuck! Why are you hitting me and making a fuss!”

“You bastard! When did I ask you to bring me to this place! I just said to cross the street!”

Yes. You did.

“What are you saying? You definitely said to bring you to a quiet place!”

“Are young people nowadays deaf…? There is no use to them… Ehhh… Tsk tsk… “How can I beg here where there is no one? It’s your fault that my profits were halved today, so take responsibility!”

“Why is that my responsibility? If you didn’t mumble and spoke clearly in the first place this wouldn’t happen! Just get off me first!”

Unnecessary commotion broke out, and the attention of the people around turned towards it. The mobile phone store, which was open and doing business, was the same. All the customers saw me and the beggar arguing.

Of course, Miyuki included.

Even though I was nervous, I put the beggar carefully on his bogie.

And then I waved my hands to swat the annoying flies away.

“I did all that I was set out to do, so get lost.”

“Ge-Get lost…? YOOOUU BAASTARRD!! Don’t you know how to treat the elderly!?”

“Gramps aren’t you speaking too harshly? It took quite the effort to bring you all the way here and instead of thanking me you’re mad?”

“That’s because you didn’t listen properly to what I said!”

“Goddamn… You’re so damn fussy. This is what you need right? Take it and get lost.”

As soon as I pulled a thousand yen’s worth of cash out of my wallet, the beggar quickly grabbed it and left humming.

As I watched him dragging the bogie with his hands, dragging on the floor, I couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed even though it was part of my plan.

Watching him, I let out a sigh and muttered to myself.

“All because I’m unlucky…”

“Matsuda-kun.”

Miyuki’s charming voice called out to me.

I turned around with a surprised look on my face.

“Hanazawa? What is it? Why are you here? Why aren’t you studying? The final exams are just around the corner.”

“I was just quickly cooling my head. What are you doing?”

“You don’t need to know.”

As I began to gloss over it with an annoyed tone, Miyuki’s eyes turned a half moon shape.

“I actually heard all about it. Why did you mess with that person? He is famous for his mischievous attitude but I guess Matsuda-kun didn’t know about it?”

“Why are you calling a beggar bastard that?”

*TL NOTE: Miyuki used an extremely formal way of calling someone. Sorry I’m not 100% sure how to translate that properly 😦

“Matsuda-kun. He is your elder. You cannot talk to him that way. You swore at that man earlier didn’t you? I really hated seeing that.”

“Hah… The mother-in-law is here.”

“If you keep speaking that way, no one will be able to tell your true intentions Matsuda-kun. Look around. Even though you listened to his request and even gave him money, people are still looking at you coldly. Because of your aggressive attitude, it gives others a bad opinion of you.”

When I looked around, people were staring coldly just as Miyuki said.

It seemed that they didn’t like me making a fuss as the sun was going down.

I scratched my head like I didn’t care.

“Doesn’t matter to me.”

“If it really didn’t matter to you, you wouldn’t have look around. Isn’t that right?”

“… What is it that you wanna say to me?”

“From now on, work on reducing your swearing. Also work on your anger issues.”

So you told me again? Alright.

Now I’ll slowly be reborn as a new person.

I’m going to act on the outside like I don’t like you telling me off.

However, I’ll speak with my actions.

And then when you see me slowly changing, know that I have your advises in my heart. Just recognize that.

Since you’re changing me like this, at least make it fun.

“At the academy, and now as well… Do you have a disease where you get prickles on your skin if you don’t intervene? Must be nice to be nosy huh?”

“Matsuda-kun.”

Miyuki spoke to me with that stern tone of hers.

I acted like I was shaken for a moment, and then turned my back on her.

“… I’m leaving. I have to quickly go shower cause of the smell. It’s cause I met all these weird bastards… One hell of a day… Damn it…”

I purposely muttered exaggeratedly as I left Miyuki.

But I did not swear even once.

***

TL NOTE: I hope the other chapters aren’t as hard to TL as this one haha