Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 24: Children Don’t Need to Know [This Way and That Way and Every Other Way]!



In a certain restaurant.

"Kagura-chan, I will never go easy on you!" Kawaki said fiercely.

"I am the same-aru!" Kagura replied with a sneer.

"Then... let's begin!" Seita shouted.

The incident started in the morning. Under the pressure of the two women(Hinowa and Tsukuyo), Kawaki reluctantly took Seita to play on the streets of Edo. They played at some amusement park for the whole morning. At noon, when Kawaki was about to take Seita back, he happened to pass by a restaurant.

What was more coincidental was that the two found Gintoki and the others in the restaurant. Moreover, there was a free Big Stomach King challenge in this restaurant. After eating the super large noodles specially made by the restaurant in the specified time, the order could be waived. Therefore, there was the beginning scene…

"Kawaki-san! Come on!" Seita kept cheering for Kawaki.

"Don't lose! Kagura!" Gintoki also encouraged Kagura from the side, "I really didn't bring any money!"

The competition was extremely intense. Two players were holding bowls that were bigger than washbasins and continuously putting noodles into their mouths. The speed was so fast that it was comparable to Luffy…

"Enough! This doesn't seem to be the main reason we came out!" Shinpachi asked, "We're here to discuss how to deal with the stalker, right?"

Kagura and Kawaki put down their bowls almost at the same time.

"It's really a competition that doesn't differentiate between the two, Kagura-chan," Kawaki said.

"Mm, it really is a match that doesn't matter who wins or loses-aru." Kagura also replied.

"Hey! Listen to someone! Hey!" Shinpachi once again flipped out.

At this time, Kawaki finally found a girl in a kimono sitting next to Shinpachi.

Kawaki asked, "Who is this?"

"You must be Kawaki-san, who has been taking care of Yorozuya. I'm Shin-chan's sister, Shimura Tae." Said Otae with a smile, "Thank you for taking care of our Shin-chan."

"Same here, our family... Gintoki was taken care of by your Shinpachi. Shinpachi is really a good boy." Kawaki replied with a smile.

"I really didn't expect that the unreliable man with silver hair to have such a reliable friend like you." Otae sighed with emotion.

"Hey, did you say [reliable] just now?!" Shinpachi interjected.

However, Kawaki acted as if he didn't hear him and continued, "Ah, you think so too? Hahaha..."

"If there is a chance next time, please come to my shop and give me a chance to thank you in person," Otae said politely.

"Shop?" Kawaki was puzzled.

"Kawaki-san, my sister is a cabaret hostess in a shop, but recently she encountered a stalker who constantly harassed her. Today, she came out to discuss this matter..." Shinpachi explained.

"That's really troublesome. I think it's better to call the police directly and let them reflect on themselves in the police station for a few days." Kawaki raised a finger and suggested.

"This... The other party is a Shinsengumi..." Shinpachi replied with a troubled look on his face.

(TL note: The Shinsengumi was a special police force under the control of the Bakufu. They are one of the most recurring protagonists in the Gintama universe. They are situated in and mostly focus their work on Edo.)

"Huh?" It was Kawaki's turn to be shocked, "Are all the policemen in Edo like this now? Can the security problems in Edo really be guaranteed?"

"I think it's pretty good. Someone is willing to marry you," Gintoki said while eating parfait, "Before your true nature is exposed, you should enter the household register first. Moreover, the other party is also a civil servant after all..."

Before Gintoki finished, Otae directly stepped on the table with one foot and pressed Gintoki's head into the parfait with one hand. The glass instantly broke into pieces, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Shinpachi, your elder sister's personality is really... polarized..." Kawaki looked at Shinpachi next to him and whispered.

"Actually...there is only one pole," Shinpachi replied in a low voice.

"At first, I thought he was going to give up, so I didn't give it much thought." Otae sat back in her seat, looking embarrassed, "But, he's shown up no matter where I went. It hit me that he's not normal."

"If that's the case, it's indeed very difficult. If it really doesn't work out, let's have [Hyakka] take action. I'll let them do it very [clean]. Since it's Shinpachi's sister," Kawaki suggested.

"It hasn't reached that point yet!" Shinpachi shouted.

"[Hyakka]? What is that?" Otae asked curiously.

"It's nothing, nothing!" Shinpachi hurriedly said.

"An agency that specializes in dealing with stinky men. Assassination..." Just as Kawaki said the word assassination, Shinpachi covered his mouth.

Fortunately, Otae did not hear what Kawaki said clearly.

"Gin-san, she came out this time to ask you to think of a way. That stalker has caused a lot of trouble for my sister's work and life!" Shinpachi complained to Gintoki.

"What? You expect me to do something?" Gintoki looked indifferent, "If you want me to take a job, then [show me the money.]"

"Gin-san, you know you haven't paid me in, like two months," Shinpachi looked at Gintoki with disdain, "You should also [take action when it's time to do it]."

"Even if you say [take action], I will also..."

"Hey, if you don't show some energy, you will really be looked down on! If you don't believe me, look!" Shinpachi said, leaning to Gintoki's ear while gesturing to Gintoki with his eyes.

Gintoki understood and looked at Otae. At this time, Otae was talking happily with Kawaki.

"What are you looking at? You silver-haired naturally wavy hair!" After Otae finished speaking, she looked at Kawaki again and showed a smile.

"So, didn't I say before that guy is just an idiot who is welcomed by women?" Gintoki said casually.

"That's not it! Didn't you say in Chapter 15 [Although it's not the Gintama crew, I'm still the male lead!], but, if you don't find some motivation you'll really be beaten by Kawaki-san." Shinpachi explained in a low voice

Just as Shinpachi finished speaking, Gintoki instantly stood up and shouted at the entire restaurant hall, "Stalker-pervert! Where are you?! Wait for me to take care of you!"

"What did you say! Bring it on if you can!" Kondo Isao got out from under the table of one of the diners and shouted at the same time.

"He really is there..." Shinpachi didn't know what to say.

"You came out after being called a stalker. What an idiot." Gintoki looked at Kondo Isao in front of him and said disdainfully, "Do you admit that you are a stalker?"

Hearing this, Kondo Isao chuckled, "Everyone is a stalker in search of love," Then Kondo Isao's expression became serious, "I say, you have been talking to Miss Otae very intimately just now. Talk! What is your relationship? It is really enviable!"

"What did you see with that eye?! You must be blind! Open your eyes to see who is talking to Otae intimately! You blind gorilla stalker!" Gintoki pointed to Kawaki and Otae, who were still talking and laughing.

At this time, Otae and Kawaki finally found out about the current situation.

"Who is the blind gorilla stalker!" Kondo Isao retorted, then lowered his head, "It's just... if it's that kind of opponent, there's no way to win..."

"Hey! What do you mean? Are you saying that you are not on the same level as the other party? So you deliberately pulled me down from the same level as you? Hey! Is that what you mean? Who is on the same level as you, a gorilla!"

"So, what is your relationship with Miss Otae?" Kondo Isao asked again.

"Hey! Do you want to be perfunctory so much?!"

At this time, Otae looked at Kawaki and looked at Gintoki beside her. Then she finally made up her mind to stand up. She walked to Gintoki and took his arm.

"This is my fiancé. I'm going to marry him in the fall. Besides, we've all done this way and that way and every other way. So give up already." Otae said with a smile. Her eyes had long been bent into crescent moons.

"[th-this way and t-that way and every other way] means?!" The veins on Kondo's face jumped.

"No, there is no [this way and that way and every other way]." Shinpachi could not help but say.

"No, if it were Gintoki, [this way and that way and every other way] might have really done it." Kawaki appropriately fanned the flames.

"Speaking of which, what exactly is [this way and that way and every other way]?" Seita raised his hand and asked.

"Children shouldn't ask so much!" Everyone shouted at the same time.

"It doesn't matter, Miss Otae!" Kondo Isao turned around and seemed to look away, "No matter what kind of life you go on, I will accept you all the same!"

"Huh?" Otae asked.

However, Kondo Isao still said to himself, "Just like how you love me, hairy ass and all!"

"When did I love you?!"

"Hey! You wavy-silver-haired! I don't care if you are Miss Otae fiancé or not! I will love Miss Otae more than you!" After a pause, Kondo Isao finally said his final goal, "Let's fight! Winner takes Miss Otae!"

Kawaki, Seita, Otae, Shinpachi, and Kagura were on the wooden bridge looking at Kondo Isao standing under the bridge.

"Just don't panic." Otae sighed and said.

"Indeed, I feel that things have become worse," Shinpachi replied.

"Moreover, that chimpanzee is probably very strong. The calm look before the duel is the evidence that he has escaped from death many times." Otae looked at Kondo Isao who was waiting calmly and said.

"Don't worry, Gintoki will not lose to that kind of chimpanzee," Kawaki said with a smile.

"Huh? Is there really no problem with a man without energy?" Shinpachi was shocked.

"Yes, no problem. If you want to say the reason..." Kawaki wanted to say something but stopped.


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